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Cube Zero (2004)
Every nightmare has a beginning.
Filmmaker(s): Ernie Barbarash

A young programmer whose job is to watch over the reality-warping Cube defies orders to rescue an innocent mother trapped in one of its rooms.

Watchers was one of the enthusiasts of the original. It seemed a clever solution to one of filmdoms most persistent challenges: how to stage drama. Noir is our most basic cinematic model. The core of noir is a universe where capricious fate toys with human destiny...


Published November 26, 2022
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Alexander (2004)
The greatest legend of all was real
Filmmaker(s): Oliver Stone

Alexander, the King of Macedonia, leads his legions against the giant Persian Empire. After defeating the Persians, he leads his army across the then known world, venturing farther than any westerner had ever gone, all the way to India.

The Borrowed and Darius knitted together the largest empire known before or since. Their method was innovative, to allow local control preserving the culture and gods. What they added was infrastructure: roads, a universal set of laws (the first case law) weights and monetary system. The...


Published November 30, 2022
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13 Going on 30 (2004)
For some, 13 feels like it was just yesterday. For Jenna, it was.
Filmmaker(s): Gary Winick

A girl who's sick of the social strictures of junior high is transformed into a grownup overnight. In this feel-good fairy tale, teenager Jenna wants a boyfriend, and when she's unable to find one, she fantasizes about being a well-adjusted adult. Suddenly, her secret desire becomes a reality, and she is transformed into a 30-year-old, but adulthood, with its own set of male-female challenges, isn't as easy as it looks.

Why Are Formulas Endearing? just cannot understand why I find this endearing and repellent at the same time. I find it endearing because it sticks to tried and true formulas, and being easily hypnotised cinematically these formulas work on me. I am disturbed at the same...


Published December 4, 2022
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A Separate Peace (2004)
Filmmaker(s): Peter Yates

Four friends with one dark secret they could never outrun.

Parallel Branches books seem natural for high school study. They need to be simple to read, but contain enough ambiguity and analogy to show students that real literature is more than a plot. If the book is set in high school, so much the better....


Published December 25, 2022
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King Arthur (2004)
Rule Your Fate.
Filmmaker(s): Antoine Fuqua

The story of the Arthurian legend, based on the 'Sarmatian hypothesis' which contends that the legend has a historical nucleus in the Sarmatian heavy cavalry troops stationed in Britain, and that the Roman-British military commander, Lucius Artorius Castus is the historical person behind the legend.

Blue Woman these simple constructions, its easy to see where they decided the hook would be. I imagine the pitch was that this would be “Braveheart” meets “Gladiator” but with a fighten’ gal. I’m sure they took a model and put her in blue tattoos...


Published March 7, 2023
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Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)
The hunters will become the hunted.
Filmmaker(s): Dwight H. Little

The blood orchid - a rare flower that could hold the secret of eternal life and be worth a fortune to the company that finds it first. Led by a pharmaceutical research team, a scientific expedition sets out to go and explore deep into the jungles of Borneo to locate and bring back samples of the legendary plant. Battling through rainstorms to make their way upriver, the group encounters poisonous insects and a ferocious crocodile, only to discover they're being stalked by an even greater danger: a gathering of giant anacondas. Heat-sensing, fifty-foot-long flesh eaters that will go after anyone that crosses in their path.

Balled Up know, you just can’t have it two ways. Either you make a movie deliberately campy, or you make one straight-on creepy. Either way, it is a hard thing to do and seemingly impossible for studios to handle, That’s because they want as many...


Published April 2, 2023
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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
They bring you the news so you don't have to get it yourself.
Filmmaker(s): Adam McKay

It's the 1970s and San Diego anchorman Ron Burgundy is the top dog in local TV, but that's all about to change when ambitious reporter Veronica Corningstone arrives as a new employee at his station.

Unanchored is a simple exercise in humour by going out of bounds. Well, this has energy at least. It does have what I call folding, being a show about a show and show business. But that element is mundane , of the “Zoolander” variety. I’ve been studying...


Published April 2, 2023
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Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)
Fast food. High times.
Filmmaker(s): Danny Leiner

Nerdy accountant Harold and his irrepressible friend, Kumar, get stoned watching television and find themselves utterly bewitched by a commercial for White Castle. Convinced there must be one nearby, the two set out on a late-night odyssey that takes them deep into New Jersey. Somehow, the boys manage to run afoul of rednecks, cops and even a car-stealing Neil Patrick Harris before getting anywhere near their beloved sliders.

Fast Times at Ellis Island a genre takes hold it “comes alive” and does what it needs to do to adapt and selfishly survive. It happens in horror, especially in zombie and vampire films. And it is happening in the high school film. High school movies...


Published January 18, 2024
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Blade Trinity (2004)
The final hunt begins.
Filmmaker(s): David S. Goyer

For years, Blade has fought against the vampires in the cover of the night. But now, after falling into the crosshairs of the FBI, he is forced out into the daylight, where he is driven to join forces with a clan of human vampire hunters he never knew existed—The Nightstalkers. Together with Abigail and Hannibal, two deftly trained Nightstalkers, Blade follows a trail of blood to the ancient creature that is also hunting him—the original vampire, Dracula.

Misplaced Zombies kinds of movies are very easy to evaluate. They need to be merely competent in terms of action, motion and noise. Where they need to excel is in the engineering of a unique style and the concurrent weaving of the mystical or occult...


Published January 19, 2024
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The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Where will you be?
Filmmaker(s): Roland Emmerich

After years of increases in the greenhouse effect, havoc is wreaked globally in the form of catastrophic hurricanes, tornadoes, tidal waves, floods and the beginning of a new Ice Age. Paleoclimatologist Jack Hall tries to warn the world while also shepherding to safety his son, trapped in New York after the city is overwhelmed by the start of the new big freeze.

Burned Books oh why do makers of bad films sometimes put a really good actor in a minor part? It just makes everything else seem cheap. In this case, Ian Holm has a few small scenes that anchor the film. He plays the part that...


Published September 22, 2024
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