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Bloodrayne (2005)
Revenge never tasted so sweet.
Filmmaker(s): Uwe Boll

In 18th-century Romania, after spending much of her life in a traveling circus, human-vampire hybrid Rayne escapes and plots to take down her father, Kagan, the evil vampire king. When she's discovered by three vampire hunters, she manages to convince them to spare her life and join her cause. But slaying a vampire as powerful as Kagan will be no easy task.

The Vamp Within Yes, I know this stinks like a Belgian elevator. Bad movies are sometimes worth it. I came to this for three reasons. One was that I am on a circus kick and I heard this story begins at a circus. Its often...
Published January 22, 2024
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Batman (1989)
Justice is always darkest before the dawn.
Filmmaker(s): Tim Burton

Batman must face his most ruthless nemesis when a deformed madman calling himself "The Joker" seizes control of Gotham's criminal underworld.

This Town Needs an Enema As with Gilliam, Tim Burton isn’t a real filmmaker, rather a production designer with a quirky taste. He creates a feel and shoves in the usual elements of characters and story and such. But the idea is that the ‘feel’...
Published January 21, 2024
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Performance (1970)
See them all in a film about fantasy. And reality. Vice. And versa.

In underworld terms, Chas Devlin is a 'performer,' a gangster with a talent for violence and intimidation. Turner is a reclusive rock superstar. When Chas and Turner meet, their worlds collide—and the impact is both exotic and explosive.

Yoko Koko In retrospect, we completely ignore key tipping points, because they become accepted horizons behind us. Only if you are there, or have an insightful observer can you even capture the notion that something radical is going on. An extra bite of toast here,...
Published January 21, 2024
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Alice in Wonderland (1999)
A Masterpiece of Imagination...
Filmmaker(s): Nick Willing

Alice follows a white rabbit down a rabbit-hole into a whimsical Wonderland, where she meets characters like the delightful Cheshire Cat, the clumsy White Knight, a rude caterpillar, and the hot-tempered Queen of Hearts and can grow ten feet tall or shrink to three inches. But will she ever be able to return home?

Veronica Boff The ‘Alice’ stories are several things at once: a remarkable fantasy, a collection of intriguing jokes and puzzles, a Bulwer-Lytton influenced cabalistic journey, and off-hand satire. It is deep no matter what direction you plumb, and that’s the magic of it. But most...
Published January 21, 2024
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Blood Tea and String (2006)
Filmmaker(s): Christiane Cegavske

The aristocratic White Mice and the rustic Creatures Who Dwell Under the Oak battle over the doll of their heart's desire.

Alice’s Rosencrantz I saw this on Christmas Day and was rather thankful. 2006 has been a bad year for movies and at the end of each year I start to put together my additions to my short list of films everyone should watch before they...
Published January 21, 2024
| Categorised as Fours, IMDB Comments |
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Blade Trinity (2004)
The final hunt begins.
Filmmaker(s): David S. Goyer

For years, Blade has fought against the vampires in the cover of the night. But now, after falling into the crosshairs of the FBI, he is forced out into the daylight, where he is driven to join forces with a clan of human vampire hunters he never knew existed—The Nightstalkers. Together with Abigail and Hannibal, two deftly trained Nightstalkers, Blade follows a trail of blood to the ancient creature that is also hunting him—the original vampire, Dracula.

Misplaced Zombies These kinds of movies are very easy to evaluate. They need to be merely competent in terms of action, motion and noise. Where they need to excel is in the engineering of a unique style and the concurrent weaving of the mystical or...
Published January 19, 2024
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Invisible (2007)
Life, death and something in between.
Filmmaker(s): David S. Goyer

After an attack leaves him in limbo -- invisible to the living and also near death -- a teenager discovers the only person who might be able help him is his attacker.

Disembodied Eye Many of these teen movies have to distinguish themselves by leveraging narrative tricks. That’s because the market restricts the story so much that it is impossible to stand out. The narrative device that interests me is when the viewer is deliberately placed in...
Published January 19, 2024
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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Something wicked this way comes.
Filmmaker(s): Alfonso Cuarón

Year three at Hogwarts means new fun and challenges as Harry learns the delicate art of approaching a Hippogriff, transforming shape-shifting Boggarts into hilarity and even turning back time. But the term also brings danger: soul-sucking Dementors hover over the school, an ally of the accursed He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named lurks within the castle walls, and fearsome wizard Sirius Black escapes Azkaban. And Harry will confront them all.

Spaniard in the Works This franchise is being managed extremely well, better than any other. The “Lord of the Rings” films were all of a single whole, while these Harry Potter movies are each cognisant of what went before, changing and maturing just as would...
Published January 19, 2024
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The Magician’s Elephant (2023)
Dare to believe
Filmmaker(s): Wendy Rogers

Peter is searching for his long-lost sister when he crosses paths with a fortune teller in the market square. His only question is: is his sister still alive? The answer, that he must find a mysterious elephant and the magician who will conjure it, sets Peter off on a journey to complete three seemingly impossible tasks that will change the face of his town forever.

Layers Any children’s movie runs the risk of easily being reducible to a ‘message’, often mistakenly called a moral. I’ve already read a few reviews of this that mention the film’s message, and how wonderfully it is presented. I suppose if that is how you...
Published December 2, 2023
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The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear overalls.

While working underground to fix a water main, Brooklyn plumbers—and brothers—Mario and Luigi are transported down a mysterious pipe and wander into a magical new world. But when the brothers are separated, Mario embarks on an epic quest to find Luigi.

Winning I shudder with the knowledge that in a few days, this grossed higher than any Pixar movie. Imagineer that. This about as charmless as it gets without the floor falling off, so I can only attribute the success to love of the character. As...
Published September 11, 2023
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