Country bumpkin Haruko only ever wanted to become a maiko, an apprentice geisha. Initially rebuffed for lack of references, Haruko's strong accent intrigues a linguistics professor, who undertakes to coach her.

Mild-mannered mystery writer D. H. Mercer has become so immersed in his material that his creation, hard-boiled private eye Biff Deegan, constantly appears to him as a hallucination. Intent on getting rid of Biff, and replacing him with a more civilized detective, Mercer soon finds himself in a genuine mystery involving art fraud, murder, and a beautiful lady in peril.

A group of Iraq War veterans goes on the run from U.S. military forces while they try to clear their names after being framed for a crime they didn't commit. Along the way, Col. Hannibal Smith, Capt. H.M. ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock , Sgt. Bosco ‘B.A.’ Baracus, and Lt. Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck help out various people they encounter.