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The Extendables (2014)
Director: Brian Thompson

A struggling and publicly disgraced Hollywood icon gets another shot at mega stardom when he is hired to star and direct an action movie in Uzbekistan.

The Extendables (2014)


When you push the steroids, you do damage to your body. Your ability to have sex goes away and you get depressed. Your mental acuity suffers. These are known effects that are accepted by actors who have little to offer other than muscles. One expects these people to be dummies, obsessed with demonstrating prowess.

Now here is an interesting movie. I am always interested when an actor funds his own project, writing directing and starring in it. I really didn’t know this guy, but on some research he seems not bad as an actor.

The hook here is that he plays a character merging Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Segal and Van Damme, all of whom he has worked with. Everything in this movie, he claims, is something he witnessed from one of these guys. Much of what is played out has to do with penis obsession, and the rest having to do with narcissistic disruptions on the set.

Now, actually I find the idea interesting, because movies about moviemaking can be pretty rich stuff. Also, I study the relationship between one political party in the US, their macho posturing and the relationship with these very same guys.

The result is well enough done, but boring. These guys are boring; their obsessions and obstructive behaviour is as well. There is no redemption as is usual in damage movies. There is no connection with what happens when a president, his military and his news network consume these muscle movies. All we have is an expose of nitwits being nitwits. It would be hard to find the humour in that.

The title is unfortunate, because you have to struggle a bit to get it. It has to do with the dildo two of these guys wear.

Posted in 2015

Ted’s Evaluation — 2 of 3: Has some interesting elements.


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