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Blade Trinity (2004)
The final hunt begins.
Filmmaker(s): David S. Goyer

For years, Blade has fought against the vampires in the cover of the night. But now, after falling into the crosshairs of the FBI, he is forced out into the daylight, where he is driven to join forces with a clan of human vampire hunters he never knew existed—The Nightstalkers. Together with Abigail and Hannibal, two deftly trained Nightstalkers, Blade follows a trail of blood to the ancient creature that is also hunting him—the original vampire, Dracula.

Misplaced Zombies These kinds of movies are very easy to evaluate. They need to be merely competent in terms of action, motion and noise. Where they need to excel is in the engineering of a unique style and the concurrent weaving of the mystical or occult...


Published January 19, 2024
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JCVD (2008)
The Biggest Fight of His Life!
Filmmaker(s): Mabrouk El Mechri

Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! This fictionalized version of Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States, but inadvertently gets involved in a bank robbery with hostages.

Hostages Divided Some friends recommended this because of the enfolded reality and story. Jean Claude, an actor in the film, plays himself as an actor between films who gets entangled in a “Dog Day Afternoon” movie-like robbery. If there was charm in this construction, it would have...


Published January 19, 2024
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Into the West (2005)
Filmmaker(s): Omar Naim

The lives of two families, one white American, one native American, become mingled through the momentous events of American expansion, between 1825 and 1890.

Not Reinvented I’m constantly amazed. No matter how repetitive and unimaginative mainstream movies get, TeeVee always is worse, much worse. The western has been reinvented and “made honest” so many times there’s no way one can find its centre any more. So you have two choices, either...


Published January 19, 2024
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Iron Man (2008)
Heroes aren't born. They're built.
Filmmaker(s): Jon Favreau

After being held captive in an Afghan cave, billionaire engineer Tony Stark creates a unique weaponized suit of armor to fight evil.

Too Contained I did not expect much from this. Marvel just seems to make what seems to me ordinary, boring movies. I was hopeful this time because the three main actors have done some rather elaborate work so far as reflected acting. Downey is something of...


Published January 19, 2024
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Why Didn’t They Ask Evans? (1980)
Filmmaker(s): John Davies, Tony Wharmby

This intriguing story is set in the 1930s at a country house, where two amateur sleuths, Bobby Jones and Lady Frankie Derwent, try to unravel the mystery behind a tale of murder, suspense and false identities. And the only clues the two have to go on are the puzzling last words of a dying man. Featuring characters created by Agatha Christie, Why Didn't They Ask Evans is a classic crime thriller sure to please murder-mystery fans.

The Boomerang Clue I make a habit out of examining film adaptations of classic mystery novels for clues. I’m looking for clues about why the narrative works. There is a reason Christie is the best selling writer in history, even now as print runs are huge. I...


Published January 19, 2024
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Black Snake Moan (2006)
Everything is hotter down south.
Filmmaker(s): Craig Brewer

A God-fearing bluesman takes to a wild young woman who, as a victim of childhood sexual abuse, is looking everywhere for love, but never quite finding it.

Too Costly All films cost the viewer something. We have to relinquish certain core parts of ourselves in a negotiation with the filmmaker, as a contract to collaborate with him/her in a shared adventure. Never, ever is this cost slight; in fact the ability to place...


Published January 19, 2024
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Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)
Fast food. High times.
Filmmaker(s): Danny Leiner

Nerdy accountant Harold and his irrepressible friend, Kumar, get stoned watching television and find themselves utterly bewitched by a commercial for White Castle. Convinced there must be one nearby, the two set out on a late-night odyssey that takes them deep into New Jersey. Somehow, the boys manage to run afoul of rednecks, cops and even a car-stealing Neil Patrick Harris before getting anywhere near their beloved sliders.

Fast Times at Ellis Island Once a genre takes hold it “comes alive” and does what it needs to do to adapt and selfishly survive. It happens in horror, especially in zombie and vampire films. And it is happening in the high school film. High school movies...


Published January 18, 2024
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Hardgore (1975)
Filmmaker(s): Michael Hugo

A nymphomaniac goes to a sanitarium in hopes of being cured; it turns out the sanitarium is a front for a Satanic cult luring young women into a web of madness, torture, and sex... But mostly just sex.

Robot Monster There’s a movie by the name of “Robot Monster,” one of IMDBs worst-rated films ever. It is juvenile, with incredibly bad production values. However, the whole thing is framed as a the “dream” of a juvenile. In this context, everything makes a kind of...


Published January 18, 2024
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The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind (2019)
Filmmaker(s): Chiwetel Ejiofor

Against all the odds, a thirteen year old boy in Malawi invents an unconventional way to save his family and village from famine.

Stealing Energy This is well enough made to hide its nature, what we used to call Hallmark movies. These are films that tell a story without irony, narrative elaboration or recognition of its cinematic conveyance. The closer to reality and the fewer theatrics the better. Ideally,...


Published January 18, 2024
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Black Magic (1944)
Chan stalks a fiendish murderer!
Filmmaker(s): Phil Rosen

Chinese detective Charlie Chan solves a murder linked to the occult. This movie had an alternative title: Meeting at Midnight.

Spooked The original intent of the Chan series, I suppose, was to introduce the “oriental” mind to the mystery genre. As with the equally strange notion of Belgian logic with Poirot, we would be charmed by novel synaptic paths. By the time of this film, indeed...


Published January 17, 2024
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